Top 5: Mean Girls Quotes

Fetch. Fugly. The mathletes. Grool. Mean Girls created its own language, and in doing so it gossiped to one of the most likeable, enduring films of the noughties. It meme’d before memes were a thing, largely down Tina Fey’s sparkling, savvy adaptation of Rosalind Wiseman’s book ‘Queen Bees and Wannabes’. So in case anyone asks you what day it is (it’s October 3rd), here is a Top 5 of lines from the script. Get in, loser.

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5. ‘YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!!’ 

Perhaps I’m including this because of the glory of Gretchen Wieners finally losing the plot. Perhaps it is because everyone has wanted to say it at some point in life. Perhaps it is because my mate & I have randomly shouted it at each other since we met in the first term of uni. Whatever the reason, this is such a typical Mean Girls moment; loud, unhinged and ready to be repeated.

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4. ‘Say crack again’ ‘Crack’

There are few things Damian says that don’t deserve a place on this list; this one gets in because it is the most random, yet the most appropriate. Some films about teenagers take themselves terribly seriously; Mean Girls dances away from such pitfalls by throwing little laugh bombs like this left, right and centre. The wording and delivery of this have more in common with the incessant quips of Airplane than John Hughes. Drugs are often a sign of youthful transgression in the movies; thanks to Mean Girls, crack will never be so solemn again.

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3. ‘Nice wig, Janis. What’s it made of?’ ‘Your mum’s chest hair!’

Has anyone had a sharper tongue than Janis Ian? Named after the singer-songwriter who contributed a tune to the soundtrack, she is the antithesis of the Plastics; smart, honest and largely disinterested in social climbing. Tina Fey’s original script had this line as ‘pubic hair’ before it was changed to ensure a lower rating, but can you really imagine it any other way?

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2. ‘Let me just tell you something about Aaron – all he cares about is school and his mom and his friends’

This is far from the fabulous Regina’s most bombastic line – I’m not sure I even got the joke the first time I saw the film. That is partly why it’s in here though; so good is Rachel McAdams delivery, she makes Aarons homely interests seem entirely reprehensible for a second. I mean, if Regina says those things are bad, they must be bad, right?

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1. ‘Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism!’

The word ‘irregardless’. Two ‘justs’, one ‘like’. And of course, an absolute belief in the rules of feminism. These are all reasons why I make no apologies for getting Gretchen on to this list twice (she deserves it after receiving no candy canes). This joke is the film in a snapshot: showing up silliness of doctrine at such a young age, and demonstrating that high-school, and feminism, are about equality, freedom of expression and choice. Now I want my pink shirt back!

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This has been a top excuse to trawl through just about every line in the script; what would make it better is for you to share your favourite moments, mean or otherwise. Get in touch in the comments or at @dreamdepends!

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. I think you’re missing one of Karen’s stupid comments off this list and also anything said by Kevin G. I just love Kevin G, he was hilarious.

    1. You’re right! I especially love Kevin G. – my favourite is when Mr Duvall says ‘Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?’ & he pipes up ‘What are marijuana tablets?’. Karen is hilarious too – love the ‘cousins’ quote.

      1. Yes, me too. The ‘cousins’ bit is absolutely classic.

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